By Chantelle Anderson
Ok, so don’t judge me…
But sometimes one load of clean laundry on my bed turns into four. And then four loads on the bed become four loads on the chair or desk or wherever else I can put them “until I have time.”
And of course, I feel guilty every time I look at them.
What started out as a genuine intention to be a domestic rockstar turned into anxiety and overwhelm. You’ve totally been there with me right? Thought so. Lol. And since this is The Social Bungalow, you already know my point isn’t about laundry. My point is that we do the same thing to ourselves in business.
We start without finishing, learn without implementing, and plan without executing. We spend energy to start something and then leave it on our to-do list so it can steal more. While it might be because of laziness with the laundry – guilty here – in our businesses, that’s usually not it.
When we don’t finish in business, it’s because of insecurity. It’s because deep down we don’t believe what we want is actually possible – for us anyway. We believe it enough to start, but we don’t have that added level of confidence to finish.
And so we keep paying the cost of insecurity.
The cost of insecurity is the business ideas we don’t finish, talent we don’t use, answers we don’t share, opportunities we don’t chase, love we don’t accept, and dreams we don’t believe in.
How much is your insecurity costing you? Only you can answer that. But, fixing it starts with three things: finishing the cycle, saying yes then no, and doubling down.
1. Finish the cycle
I learned to swim when I was five. My teacher taught me how to doggie paddle and hold my breath in the kiddie pool. Once I got the hang of it, she told me to get out and then threw me in the big pool. Literally.
I freaked out and was about to start crying. Until I realized that I was swimming, just like I’d been taught. I learned two things that day: do what you learn immediately and that you’ll never feel ready.
The cycle: Learn → Execute → Repeat
Studying and learning are crucial because if you go into any situation unprepared and uninformed, you can drown. Or at least have a traumatic experience to look back on. But learning isn’t enough.
Too often we keep learning because we’re scared to DO. We substitute being busy for moving forward so we don’t have to admit that we’re standing in our own way, again. No lie, this is why I love Shannon. Because her and her courses focus so much on DOING THE WORK instead of just learning about doing it.
Execute on the knowledge you have as you get it. Otherwise, you’re sending yourself into a state of overwhelm and anxiety. You’re putting one load of laundry on your bed, knowing it’s going to turn into four.
Confidence comes from implementing what you’ve learned. Not learning and letting it all sit there. The only cure to fear is action.
Radical, extreme execution starts with the choice to finish one cycle at a time. Learn, execute, repeat. Anything else is letting insecurity hold you back.
Are you ready to finish the cycle?
2. Say yes, then say no
When I was in high school, I played volleyball, basketball, track, the piano, the clarinet, and took sewing and knitting classes. They hadn’t coined the term “multi-passionate” yet but that was definitely me.
Once I realized my biggest talent was in basketball and started to fall in love with it, I quit everything else and focused all my energy there. The result was that I ended up earning a college scholarship and eventually playing in the WNBA. But no way that would’ve happened if I had continued to do all the things instead of the one thing.
This applies across the board. There should always be a season of yes and a season of no. In the beginning, say “yes” to anything interesting. Try it all. Until you find where your talent meets your passion, meets other people’s needs. That’s your lane.
And once you find your lane, say “no” to everything else but the things in it. Pull your other talents into that lane.
It’s the same when you’re developing a product. Brainstorm everything. Try it and see what sticks. That’s your season of yes. But once you find what that is, build it without multitasking. That’s your season of no. Get that thing off your to-do list as quickly as possible.
Saying “yes” will build your confidence as you try new things, and so will saying “no” as you use courage to set your own boundaries. Operating between seasons of yes and no will also allow you to execute what you learn and actually move forward. Because execution demands focus.
Is it time for your season of yes or your season of no?
3. Double down
One time I drove 3 hours to a seminar, only to get there and find out that I already knew almost everything being taught. The only difference between me and the woman teaching was that she had decided to bet on herself and I wasn’t all the way in yet. I left the seminar at lunch and drove the 3 hours home to get to work.
Four months later I left my job in medical device sales and began my full-time speaking career, teaching the confidence curriculum I had been writing. A year after that I was making 5-figures per speaking engagement. Two years later I had spoken at Google and was preparing for another keynote with them.
Hear me when I say this: sometimes you’re learning, executing, saying yes and no to the right things, and you’re still not all in.
We can be masters at getting things done while holding ourselves back because we’re too scared to double down on what we really want.
If that’s you right now, make the decision to bet on yourself. Take the “maybe” in your head out of what you want. Go all in. And then do things every day to make that decision easier tomorrow than it was today.
How can you bet on yourself right now?
I love the quote by Robert H. Scheller, “What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?”
The answer is, you’d execute, you’d focus, and you’d bet on it. Because your results would be guaranteed. And it’d be the same now if you honestly believed that what you’re doing was going to work.
Stop paying the cost of insecurity by holding yourself back. Stop waiting to hear that one more success story that’s going to push you off the ledge to make your own. It’s time for you to go for it.
You got this! I believe in you!
In grace and gratitude,
Chantelle Anderson is a Speaker, Writer, and Confidence and Faith Coach. Her business, Confidently His, helps spiritually minded women build confidence, identity, and influence through online courses, live events – when we’re not in a pandemic, and a private membership community. You can find her on Instagram and download her “10 Confidence Commandments” Workbook.
She’ll also be teaching “Confident Speaking and Storytelling” in The Social Bungalow Facebook Group on September 3rd!
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